Do you ever just hear a persons voice, the one person you care about more than anything in the world and as soon as you hear his voice you start to cry, because right there is the one thing, the one person who means everything to you and you're so happy that they're in your life but yet you're so upset because you don't really have them, because you're only friends and yet you want so much more out of the relationship but you know that you'll never get exactly what you want. You know that you once had the perfect relationship with this person and now all you are is best friends, and that breaks your heart everytime you think about it. Do you ever listen to that person ramble on about troubles with girls and just want to shake the hell outta them and tell them that the perfect girl for them is standing right in front of them! that you are the one who loves them more than anyone could ever love them. Do you ever feel like you know things would be so much better if they would just realize that the person they're really looking for is right there in front of them, that while they're going out with other girls the one who is standing here waiting for them and always will be is you. Do you ever just wish that you could get the fact that you love them and nobody else into their heads and when you try to tell them this they just think you're joking or you mean it just in a friendly way!? But you don't because really you mean it with all your heart, you mean every single word of it but they just don't seem to get it. And when you see that some girl is hurting them does it hurt you? Do you ever cry yourself to sleep at the thought of them getting hurt by some girl who will never love him like you do? cuz I do .. I cry at the sound of his voice because I'm happy and sad at the same time. I wish for so much more out of the relationship, I wish he'd understand that I'll always be here waiting for him because out of everybody he means more to me than anyone else. I wish that he knew when I say I love him I really mean it with every piece of my heart. I wish that things were back to how they used to be. And just knowing that some girl has hurt him makes me cry because I care about him so much and I don't want anyone to hurt him even though he has hurt me countless times, I can't stand to see him get hurt .. that right there is love. It's when you have millions of different emotions racing through your body all at one time. It's when you care about this person so much that all you want is to see them smile, to see them happy even if he's by someone elses side and some other girl is the reason he has that smile, as long as he's happy...you're happy. And you know that you'll always be apart of his life because you've always been there for him and you'll never forget about him because he is the only boy you really truly love, he's your best friend and you've been through so much with him no one could ever replace him .. ever, you love this boy and you know you do, he holds a place for you in his heart, and you hold a place for him in yours, you'll never forget this boy .. never ♥
This summer has been long and boring and I'm sick of it. I pretty much have done nothing but sit at the computer for 12 hours a day.
Done with boys again for awhile. Although they are wonderful to look at and fool around with, they end up breaking your heart and I'm not ready to put myself in that position.
Sick of this whole moving situation. I swear parents say something but never really make up there minds. Okay i get that we're moving, then let's find a damn place and get out of here. I'm sick of this house, I want something new. Usually I'll go and cut my hair or change my look, but I can't really cut my hair much shorter. haha
I'm missing alot of people that I used to talk to all the time at school. I miss seeing certain people and getting hugs from them. I miss just messing around at lunch or cheating on tests in class. I made a lot of great people this past year and I want to see all of them all the time again. I'm craving new close friendships and people I can trust.
I've been thinking that maybe staying in downey isn't such a good idea. I mean whats hear for me? ...nothing. Its a bad city with nothing to do. I made my parents swear we wouldn't move out of state until i got to college, but maybe getting away from everything here isn't such a bad idea. I'm sick of the same thing all of the time. gah I don't know...I would miss people and I'd probably have a hard time making new friends, but maybe a new life is what i need.
Alright I think I'm done ranting for now. and if you actually read all of that...wow.
Wow, I'm actually updating this thing. what's it been like 4-5 months. ah well its finally summer, thank god...and this year actually ended well. Overall freshman year was good. Friends are great...especially manda and alex. hehe thanks guy for everything this year :)
My grades went down this year...but who really cares its just freshman year. parents were kind of upset about the D in math...but as long as i get my credits...I don't care.
New boyfriend...Billy. He's great. It's only been about 3 weeks though. My parents know about him...surprised I actually told them about this one. They like him. His parents like me too...so thats good i guess.
Not really sure what else to write in here...summers going good so far. I'm actually getting out of the house and doing stuff for once, which is a shocker. I miss everyone though...and theres so many people I want to see. Well not much else to write...I'll update later.
I hope everyone has and had a great day..i know i did! <33
lets see umm i didnt go to formal cuz of a little incident id rather not say, cuz who noes whos reading this.
finals were alright, i passed em all.
lifes pretty good at the moment.
leave a comment <3
this weekend has been pretty good. friday i went to my moms work and check everything out, its a pretty cool place, came home and had a HUGE fight with the parents, but everything is ok now. saturday i rented movies and watched them all day and then went cosmic bowling later that night. i had alot of fun, i dont think words can really describe my feelings about last night, lets just say it was amazing and memorable. but with my luck something bad might happen and ill go back to being unhappy so im not getting my hopes up about n e thing yet. but who noes right. and today i went over to alex's house for a little birthday party kind of thing, it was fun, me and ashley were the only non-family kind of, so i felt special!! hehe it was lots of fun!!
going to winter formal for sure now, parents finally gave the ok for it, so i cant wait for that, me ashley and alex are gunna have fun!!! i love you girls! <3
not much else to say <3 britt
well im off to steph's to bake a cake, maybe that will be fun!
call the cell n e time you want to, now that i have one again ! hehe